Lube, for a rainy Saturday morning.
Including why. And also, gynecologists and how they hurt people, cont'd.
There’s an NPR article from May 20th about how much pain most gynecologists cause those of us who have vaginas (there are endless options for subbing in other words for the word “vagina”. Internal space/internal clitoris simply are 2 I’ll use this morning.) when they insert IUD’s into our uteri.
(Why ever say “vagina” again, after we’ve learned it means “sheath of the sword”? I mean.
Unless, of course, which I’d stand by, “sword sheath” feels sexy. I get that. I can go there.
But “vagina” is a crummy sound for this part of the body. A non-appealing word, sound-wise. So, there’s that. It’s important.)
Here’s the NPR article. They’ve done a series on painful IUD insertions, which is cool.
https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2025/05/20/nx-s1-5403880/iud-insertion-pain-treatment-acog
One thing I like about this particular NPR article is that it features Deirdre Cooper-Owens, who wrote Medical Bondage: Race, Gender and the Origins of American Gynecology, a book about the history of gynecology. You who know me know I regularly recommend this book.
In terms of painful IUD insertions, and also painful speculum insertions, and also painful internal gyn exams: how have gynecologists gotten away with this? For centuries?
Answer, as usual: because they can, because we’ve been led to believe it’s okay that they cause pain, because we’ve become numb to internal space pain, because we think pain is a normal part of receiving care, because we go alone into their rooms (why do we do that?), because we believe they have the power and the right to decide how to treat our bodies, because we think pain goes along with most things having to do with our internal spaces, because we believe the lie that we are powerless when it comes to being in charge of our internal spaces, and because we’ve been taught to trust gynecologists.
With other body parts, we know to treat pain as a warning sign. With other body parts, we know that pain indicates something is wrong.
When people with penises have a catheter inserted, here is the Merck Manual’s description of the equipment used:
Equipment for Urethral Catherization in a Male
Prepackaged kits are typically used but the individual items needed include
Sterile drapes and gloves
Povidone iodine with application swabs, cotton balls, or gauze
Water-soluble lubricant
Urethral catheter* (size 16 French Foley catheter is appropriate for most men; in the setting of prostatic hypertrophy or urethral stricture, an alternate size or style of catheter may be required†)
10-mL syringe with sterile water (for catheter balloon inflation)
Local anesthetic (eg, 5 to 10 mL of 2% lidocaine jelly in a syringe [with no needle]) for distention and anesthesia of the male urethra
Sterile collection device with tubing
*A closed-catheter system minimizes catheter-associated UTI.
†A coudé catheter is curved at the end and may facilitate passage in a male with significant prostatic hypertrophy.
Note the local anesthetic in the kit.
If you’d like to read more about how penile catheter insertion is performed, you can go here: https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/genitourinary-disorders/how-to-do-genitourinary-procedures/how-to-do-urethral-catheterization-in-a-male#Aftercare_v49751008
(plant medicine and the penis. More on this soon.)
About lube:
Our body’s openings that connect the inside us with the outside world, including our nostrils, our mouths, our ears, our anuses, our eyes, our internal clitoris (the vagina), are pretty sensitive.
Meaning that they have a lot of nerve endings. Different kinds, but lots of them.
Think about that q-tip going too far inside your ear! Or getting sand in your eyes!
We’ve been told the internal clitoris (vagina) has few nerve endings. Fuck that. It’s not true. We who like to be touched there know this; it’s why we like it. It feels good. It can feel astonishing!
So, why use a lubricant that’s made from ingredients we’d eat?
Because the internal clitoris eats whatever we place/welcome/say yes to having inside (and what we say no to. more on this another time.). From the ingredients in our lubricants to the sensations of pressure and pleasure, our internal clitori are absorbing it all. Eating it.
(glass bowls of leftover lube my students made)
Lube recipe #2:
Place a small pyrex measuring cup in water you’re warming on your stove. Be gentle with the temperature. Add 1/4 c of sunflower oil and 1/8 c of coconut oil and and 1/8 c of cocoa butter and a tablespoon or so of grated beeswax. Use a whisk to stir it while it all melts together. Take it off the stove and continue to whisk while the ingredients cool. When it starts to solidify, pour it into the container you’re going to keep it in. Let it cool to room temperature. Put a lid on.
You can keep this in the fridge.
It will harden.
It will soften and be yummy to use with the warmth of your warm fingers, and your/your lover’s body warmth.
You can adjust the recipe as you like.
It’s edible. It’s worthy of being inside your body. It can be used for all the ways we like to enter our own and others’ bodies.
You could dry rose petals you’ve grown, grind them into a fine powder, and add them to your lube while you’re whisking. Yummy.